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lifehacksTo tolerate places you don’t want to be at:

Take your glasses off

If you wear contacts or glasses, wear glasses that day.  If you are going somewhere that are dreading or think it will be kind of invasive like the dentist, eye doctor, or hair dresser, take your glasses off when you are able.  Blurred vision means less visual cues to take in and fully process.  It also means less cutting eye contact and less details of others’ facial expressions to hold on to and worry about (cuz you can’t really see it as clear!).  When already stressed or on alert mode, taking away even just one stressor can be very beneficial. Continue reading →

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emptiness
shutterstock.com Image: 278154308

 

Here it is, almost one in the morning and I have done nothing.  I’ve been floored by that Asperger’s pain today.  I am exhausted.  I just want to rest.  I have mountains of work.

I’ve made no effort for the next day–I have not even showered yet or combed my hair.

Why do I fall into this pattern when I am like this?

Do I shoot myself in the foot?

Do I intentionally dig the hole deeper trying to make things worse since I am already down here? Continue reading →

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When myself and the world are too much, I find myself back here. 

I’ve stayed away for a while.  Diving in too deep made life too heavy.  I’ve lived forever without a label and simply in “just existing.”  It was nice to just exist again without the labels and without the over-thinking.

Slowly, getting back on track, the skills I lost seem to be returning.  Continue reading →

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  1. Just think positive
  2. You should be more like [insert name here]
  3. You should be hanging out with people your own age
  4. How come you aren’t doing more social things?
  5. You spend too much time alone
  6. You need to put down the phone and visit more at this party
  7. Do you want to come to my Jamberry party? Continue reading →

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Something inside of me is broken… and there is no fix. I can learn. I can adapt. I can make up for it. But it will always be broken.

I am missing a crucial chip deep within the mechanisms of my brain, quintessential to the human existence. …I don’t possess it. I can look normal. I can speak normal. I can seem to respond normal. But at the end of the day, without this chip, I am not normal. And it can wreak its havoc as a result. Continue reading →

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I used to think I was just good at things.  Art, writing, singing, anything creative… it all seems to come naturally. Things just work. Like the wheels perfectly arranged in a clock, some things just seem to fit the way they should.  It’s like I already have this ability built in. I don’t have to learn it like other people, I already know it.

When I write, it’s almost like music that I hear. I hear the words in my head as if someone else is speaking them. I don’t have to try, they’re already there. And I hear the rhythm, I hear the flow. I hear when I need a two syllable adverb. I hear when a phrase is lacking in depth. I hear when I need short sentences and when I need long sentences. It all fits together like a song. Something inside of me does it and I am merely the puppet acting on this unknowable force. Continue reading →

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I am a chameleon. When placed against my surroundings, I absorb and change colors innately acquiring language, facial expressions, mannerisms, feelings. All seeps within. Continue reading →